Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Failed IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer

Kim holding Otis after Failed IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer

If you want to know if I am alright. I am not. You don’t think it’s possible to have your heart broken as many times as you do going through IVF. It breaks into a million pieces and slowly, you piece them back together just in time for your heart to shatter again. I am still picking up those pieces today. I recently shared that my Embryo Transfer got cancelled because of Covid-19 and was patiently waiting for my fertility clinic to open back up. When I finally got the call that they were opening, I scheduled to start treatment ASAP. I quietly prepped the whole last month and a half for a Frozen Embryo Transfer on June 8th. After the most excruciating 10 day wait, it’s with a heavy heart that I tell you our transfer didn’t work. Not pregnant. Let me rewind to give you a little insight into this FET cycle.

Frozen Embryo Transfer Prep

The process was relatively easy considering I had just completed the majority of it with my cancelled FET cycle. I knew what to expect. I was in the groove. I had my eye on the prize. I think the scariest moment of prep is always the day I start progesterone injections. That scary long needle that gets injected into your butt. But like anything, after “pulling off the bandaid” and just getting through the first night, it all just becomes part of your routine again. I will say the injections aren’t even that bad compared to how your butt starts to feel after a few days. I remember telling Blake it’s like I have two bruises on my butt the size of tennis balls. Sitting is uncomfortable. I was doing them once in the morning and once at night. But regardless of any unpleasantness, you grit through because that precious progesterone is for your baby. So it’s all worth it. Once I started the progesterone, we were locked into a embryo transfer date. It was on.

Embryo Transfer Day

Given the state of the world, our transfer looked alot different this time. While Blake was allowed to come with me to the procedure, he could not because he had to be in the car with Otis since we are still fully quarantined at home. Since I have been doing my medical treatments, it was important to me and our family that we continue to be as safe as possible to protect my health as well as that of Blake and Otis. Since we are without childcare help and we aren’t having contact with anyone to watch Otis, he had to support me from the car instead of in the room. I am so lucky to have gone through a transfer experience before in normal times so I could at least know what to expect. I can’t imagine other woman having to go through this process alone. It weighs heavy on me thinking how hard the process can be for everyone. 

Blake gave me a kiss, I kissed Otis on the forehead and I headed into the facility. I wore a mask, had my temperature checked, and answered a slew of questions pertaining to Covid-19. Besides the obvious precautions, everything was just as I remember. I met with my embryologist who went over my info, talked to me about my embryo and got everything set up to go. My doctor came in and I was able to ask to video in Blake during the procedure. But of course, with Blake watching a wild toddler in a car seat that didn’t want to be in his car seat, he had to mute his own audio and he ended up not really knowing what was happening as I tried to communicate with him, wearing my mask and giving hand signals. I think in a way, But, regardless we did our best to create our own sense of normal. I had my music playing and just like that, we were done. It’s a super quick procedure and after I lay down for 30 minutes before I am allowed to go home. It’s also to note, they give me valium before so I am SUPER relaxed but do need to be driven home because of it. We drove home and I got ready for my 3 days of bedrest. I queued up my favorite rom coms, wore my coziest pajamas, and had more time to myself than I remember in a long time. 

The hardest part about the bed rest was not really being able to hang out with Otis. I missed him terribly. My little buddy 🙁 We tried to have him come into bed when he was in a relaxed mood or it was time for his milk before bed and a lot of time, it would be a little complicated because he’s a toddler that wants to be on the move and I need to be very careful and not have any pressure on my stomach. That was the toughest thing. Not getting many cuddles and hang time with Otis. But luckily he had a great time with Dad and I cherished the time I did get to spend with him.

2 Week Wait

I thought the 2 week wait (or 2WW) would be easier this time around because I have been through it twice before so I should basically be an expert. WRONG. There is so much PTSD when it comes to infertility and IVF treatment. I feel the 2WW was even worse this time around. Day 2 I was already off to doctor google looking up implantation signs, symptoms, you name it. I knew it was bad. I knew I shouldn’t read, but damn guys. You ALWAYS READ IT. The first couple days were rough. Especially with the state of the world, I tried to disconnect myself from all social media as much as I could but it was also a time I could NOT look away. I think in hindsight I blame myself… maybe I should have truly disconnected more. Maybe I caused myself stress when I should have been more positive and focused on myself. Once I got to day 6, I started feeling better about being closer to blood test day. I was leaning into the “I’m pregnant” mentality and doing my best to be as positive as possible. Fast forward to the night before my blood work. I have not been that anxious in a LONG time. I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned all night. I had a million things going on in my mind. Blake was trying to get me to take an at home pregnancy test from day 7 but I held out. I didn’t want to torture myself with any false positive or false negative results. I was going to hold on until blood work day.

Blood Work Day

I tossed and turned all night before my blood work. My eyes were awake scrolling my phone before my alarm went off at 6am to get up, shower and head to the doctors office for my blood work. Anxious. Nervous. Excited. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a solo cup to save my morning pee to test it with an HPT (at home pregnancy test), did my business, and showered to get ready. It was a misty June morning, softly raining and eerily quiet drive. A huge pit in my stomach. I did my quick blood drawl and I was back in the car on the way home.

Luckily it was Thursday, TRASH DAY, so I could distract myself with chasing trucks with Otis. Before I left on my routine walk, I had Blake go in and do my pregnancy tests with my saved urine. Did I tell you how much I love Blake and how he is the freaking best partner in the world? The idea of doing a HPT and seeing a negative result would destroy me so Blake was on duty. My last successful FET (which I wrote about here) I did a HPT after my phone call with the nurse to find out it was positive. My hopes were high. Until Blake came out, “All 3 are negative.” I could see it all over his face. The look I have seen before. Devastation. My heart sunk. But then just like that, I had to bring Otis to go see the trash trucks. Going through fertility treatment with a toddler is a very different experience. Less time to process. More distraction. Just different. We talked as I strapped Otis into his blue car that I pushed him out for our walks. “I’m going to pray that my beta comes back positive. Maybe it’s too early for my home test. There is still a chance.” 

I left for my walk, where I always meet my friend down the block to take a socially distanced walk with our toddlers. With every step I took, it became alarming clear that, fuck. This might not have worked. I continued on with our convos focused on Otis and our kids and just hoped that she wouldn’t bring up whether I went in for my blood work. I could feel the tears just creeping up in my throat. It was my most heart wrenching trash day. A day I always look forward to. Now riddled with worry. It’s a blessing sharing our process with friends and loved ones, but when things are bad… they become epically worse when you need to report bad news. Thankfully our convos were light and I headed home. To continue to wait.

Since the negative HPT, the knot in my throat, and the tears just swelled but never poured out. I needed to know the truth and wait for the blood work results. But Blake and I had pretty much come to the realization that… this didn’t work. And here we were again. HOW DID WE GET HERE. I sat at my desk sitting next to Blake. I was NOT going to answer my phone. I knew I would break down and Blake needed to be the one to field the call from our doctor. I felt like throwing up. The wait was excruciating.

The Phone Call

My phone rang and Blake picked up. I could hear my doctor’s voice and instantly knew… it was bad news. Our hearts were broken. She explained that she was so sorry to have to share this news with us. And that I didn’t even have a bio chemical pregnancy, it was nothing. I am thankful for that at home pregnancy test. To be able to diffuse our initial shock, and make me more lucid for that phone call than I would have been going in blind. It’s the unfortunate thing about IVF. While it’s this wildly incredible beautiful thing, it’s not 100%. Nothing is. Everything was perfect. My lining was AMAZING and probably the thickest it’s been at transfer at a 9.2. Everything went perfectly. But in the end, it wasn’t enough. After 10 days going to sleep staring at my photo of my embryo and the ultrasound showing the transfer, our precious embaby was gone. 

Processing Our loss

I was pretty open with family and close friends, and some of my fellow fertility warriors about our FET. The joy that comes along with sharing my experience and being able to connect with people during such a hard time also turns extra hard when you are left fielding texts from people who know you had a transfer wanting to know what happened. I talked about how to support a friend dealing with infertility and IVF and I think the hardest thing is that people just truly want to support you and don’t know the pain that comes behind some of their interactions. While innocent, those convos are still a bitter pill to swallow when you are dealing with mourning a loss. There is no perfect way to reach out. But let me tell you… those conversations were many. I basically had to go through my head and think about who I told and who I wanted to cut off from sending me that inquisitive message. I just couldn’t take that. I texted a lot of my friends my bad news, and politely let them know I did not want to talk about it. But to be honest, today is Tuesday, nearly 6 days later, I am still fielding texts or dms from friends who are checking in. In those first few days… it was unbearable. And I will be the first to say, I know all of these messages from friends come out of love. I know that. So if anyone reading this is feeling awful for reaching out to me, please don’t. I sincerely appreciate every message, everyone checking in. Because in the end, it’s more important you be there imperfectly than not at all. I think that in the current state of the world, that statement holds true in so many ways. I think that next time around, we will tell way less people because the repercussions of having to live through this experience of failure is more easily mourned without having to do damage control for my own sanity. If that makes sense? Damn infertility is fucking hard guys. Really fucking hard. And when you are down, you are really down. I knew I was committed in sharing our story with you all but it doesn’t make it easier sharing these huge dark times in such an open forum. But I do this because it’s important to see all sides of this journey. The good, the bad and the ugly. 

I blamed myself a lot. Wondering if it was my fault for not creating a positive enough environment for my embryo. Was the state of the world creating more stress and worry and keeping me from being the warm receptive place for new life? I think it’s hard as a woman going through this process. You blame your body. You blame yourself for the things you just aren’t able to do. Those moments are hard. The fact that while people everywhere around you are seemingly sneezing and getting pregnant. Without a fleeting thought about it other than they were ready to start their families. The joy it must be to be blissfully unaware of these struggles… but sadly that will never be me. My path has been much different. The pressure you put on yourself. That strain is unfair. You have to remind yourself that you did the best you could to create a loving welcome environment and there is so much out of our control. But the guilt is always there.

One of the hardest things after finding out I was not pregnant was not being able to mourn properly. What i mean by this, is that being a mother of a toddler, I can’t just drop my role as a mother just to mourn our loss. Motherhood goes on, and in this pandemic world, we are still just Blake, Otis and I. I can’t just stop to be sad, and cry my eyes out. I have a tiny person to love and care for and the last thing I want is for my sadness to make him sad. 3 days after the news, I was sitting eating breakfast with Otis in the kitchen and I started hysterically crying. Hand up to my face as the tears streamed down. I didn’t want Otis to look me in the eyes and see the pain. Otis put his tiny hand on my arm and with the saddest whimper in his voice, I could just feel how confused and concerned he was that I was so sad. I wiped my tears on my shirt and wrapped my arms around him. “Mommy is going to be ok Otis.” I think that has been the strangest part of my mourning process is that you don’t just get a break from motherhood when things get tough. So it’s been a much different process altogether. I know everyone experiences these things different and we don’t have to be so strong all the time. I read something recently and it resonated so much. You don’t need strength. You need courage. Courage to keep fighting. Courage to be vulnerable. Courage to grow. And courage to look a sad situation in the eye and see the hope behind it. You never forget these losses. I still think often about our first embryo transfer that failed. It’s something that you live with. And something you hold in your heart forever. 

So what is next for us? I will tell you what, WE KEEP FIGHTING. I am so thankful to say we have 2 precious embryos left. We fought hard for those precious embabies and when the time is right to try again, we will try again. Blake and I are both committed to not forgetting our past or what we have been through, but to fully put our hope and love into our next chance. To see Otis’ face everyday this past week (and really everyday) is a constant reminder of the beautiful miracle of IVF, what comes from never giving up, and just how sweet life has become with him in it. To all of my fellow IVF ladies (and partners) out there, I know just how dark some of these days may be, but please don’t give up. Otis has changed our lives forever. My biggest joy is being his mother. And each moment in the day is made better because of him. I know this fight seems isolating, especially in this pandemic world, but you are not alone. There is an army of women behind you just like me. While my heart is still picking up the piece, it’s here with you. Still filled with hope. To our future family, I will be patiently waiting for you.

I wrote a few posts on infertility and IVF and you can find them below:

IVF 1 

IVF 2 

IVF 3

Prepping for FET (frozen embryo transfer)

Preparing for IVF egg retrieval 

How to support a friend going through IVF

IVF book resources

Photo taken by my dear friend Alison Conklin a few months ago

The post Failed IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

Via Wellness http://www.rssmix.com/

Thursday, June 4, 2020

15 Black Owned Businesses For Kids Shopping

Support these 15 Black Owned Kids Businesses
Support these 15 Black Owned Kids Businesses

As a mother, my priority is to raise a son who practices love, kindness and respect for all humans. This week has only magnified how much we need to work on as a society to support our Black friends, businesses, and communities.  

Everyone should be outraged. No one should have to fear death just for being in their own skin. In an effort to share some actionable ways to help support the Black Lives Matter cause as well as support justice for George Floyd and so many others whom have lost their lives I wanted to start by sharing some Black owned businesses for kids shopping that we can support now. I plan to always continue to work on being better, continuing to educate myself, and growing a kinder safer world for all of us.

This list below is only a small start. But it’s a start. I will be actively sharing resources to this BLM highlight on my instagram account where I can amplify other Black voices in the community and other helpful resources. These businesses have a mix of baby and toddler goodies both for boys and girls. Will share some of the pieces I ordered when they arrive.

Kido chicago
Ava & Isa
Brave + Kind Books
Tippy Tot Shoes
Darlyng & Co
HarperIman Dolls
Pretty Please Teethers
Opal + Fig
Ozzie + Olive
Sun and Lace
Little Likes Kids
Le Petit Organic
HAUS of headwraps
Pip Pip Hooray
Yinibini baby

photos are all pulled from shops instagram accounts

The post 15 Black Owned Businesses For Kids Shopping appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

Via Wellness http://www.rssmix.com/

Monday, June 1, 2020

5 Ways Meditation Makes Us Better at Yoga

Meditation. Yoga. The two go together like Batman & Robin (though with less capes… usually).

As spiritual health practices that have both found popularity in the West over the past 50 years, we tend to lump yoga and meditation together. Whenever we read of one, the other usually isn’t far behind. And when we’re shopping for yoga pants it’s no surprise to see a meditation mala in the vicinity.

Yet despite the obvious correlation between yoga and meditation, there are still countless people who do one or the other and not both.

Big mistake. 

Yoga makes you better at meditation because it creates a relaxed body that is conducive to a relaxed mind. Not to mention, it also makes it far easier to get into lotus position without feeling like your legs are going to snap in two.  And meditation makes us better at yoga in five key ways. Let’s take a look.

How meditation makes us better at yoga

1. Meditation helps us focus on asanas

When we’re practicing yoga, we are, of course, exercising the body. But we ought to be exercising the mind at the same time.

Every time we place the body in an asana (pose), we should be focusing on that pose. By focusing the mind on the body while in a pose, we experience the asana in full. Yoga asanas offer many mental health benefits, but in order to glean those benefits, we have to actually focus on what we are doing. 

Sadly, many people don’t leave their thoughts and distractions at the yoga studio door. And so they are not able to focus on the yoga.  

Meditation is well known to improve focus and concentration. And because of this, it makes it easier to focus the mind on the body when we enter a yoga pose. The result is complete mind-body immersion in the asana.

2. Meditation lowers oxygen consumption

One of the lesser-known benefits of meditation is that it changes the way the body uses oxygen.

Scientific research shows that meditation lowers oxygen consumption rate by 10%. This means that we are more able to control the breath during and after meditation. This is a game-changer for anyone who gets short of breath when practicing yoga. If that’s you, try meditating before doing yoga, and during your yoga session, take a few moments here and there to practice mindful breathing. This will help regulate the breath.

Not only does this help us practice yoga for longer, it also gives us more control of pranayama. 

3. Meditation helps you to discover the philosophical aspects of yoga

While most yoga studios these days are more concerned with physical exercise than philosophy, historically yoga has been about both.

If you want to truly embrace the yogic lifestyle, you have to get in touch with the philosophical side. Meditation can help.

The yogic system itself includes many meditations, such as Trataka (Still Gazing), chakra meditations, mantras, and sound meditations (Nada Yoga). Not only do these meditation techniques help train the mind, they also prepare the mind-body for more advanced stages of yoga. After all, it’s hard to truly experience Pungu Mayurasana  (Wounded Peacock Posture) while you’re worrying about that business meeting.

4. Get too sweaty doing hot yoga? Meditation will help

Anyone who practices Bikram (hot yoga) knows what it’s like to sweat a little too much. But meditation can change that.

We get sweaty when our body temperature rises. But meditation reduces heart rate and blood pressure, and this cools down the body and thereby reduces sweating.

So if you’re worried you might be a little hot, sweaty and, yes, smelly when you’re doing hot yoga, try meditating.

5. Meditation improves balance 

Feel a little wobbly in Warrior III? Meditation will change that, at least according to one scientific study. 

Ying Kee, PhD, and his colleagues at the Nanyang Technological University’s National Institute of Education took 32 men and split them into two groups. Kee made both groups stand on one leg while holding a basin of water.   While they were doing this, Kee asked one group to be mindful of their hands, while the other group were allowed to think of anything they liked. Kee then tested the balance of members of both groups.

The results showed that being mindful of the body increases balance, where thinking about something other than what we’re doing will actually lower our balance.

So, if you want to stay in an asana for longer, be mindful of your body while you’re in the pose.

Anyone who is serious about getting better at yoga should embrace both the physical and the mental exercises. And of the latter, meditation is the most important.

By practicing meditation not only do we embrace more of the yogic lifestyle, we also prepare the mind for success in the yoga studio.

The benefits of meditation are significant, and they are invaluable when it comes to improving our yoga practice.

If you’ve been doing the physical side of yoga without practicing meditation, perhaps it’s time for that to change.

——————-

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Paul Harrison, a meditation teacher based in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. He has 20 years of experience and has spent more than 2,000 hours meditating. He also works as a freelance journalist.

Via Wellness http://www.rssmix.com/

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

BEST MAI TAI RECIPE + MOCKTAIL

best mai tai recipe
best mai tai recipe
best mai tai recipe
best mai tai recipe
best mai tai recipe

Best Mai Tai Recipe

Recipe by eat.sleep.wear.Course: DrinksCuisine: Other world cuisineDifficulty: Easy
Servings

1

servings
Prep time

5

minutes
Calories

260

kcal

The best Mai Tai recipe I have used that combines the perfect amount of sweetness and deliciousness!

Ingredients

Directions

  • Pour crushed ice into your cocktail glass.
  • Combine light rum, orgeat, and orange liqueur in a shaker with ice. Shake well until chilled and pour over ice into your cup.
  • Add pineapple juice and stir.
  • Add dark rum on top, add garnish, and add straw. This is important to add the dark rum last to get a little separation. I didn’t for some of these and it makes a big difference in the presentation of your cocktail. Learn from my mistakes 😉
  • *FOR MOCKTAIL: Replace light rum with orange juice. Replace dark rum with sparkling lemon water. Replace Cointreau with fresh lemon juice. Follow instructions above with the ingredient modifications*
  • Pour that cocktail, play some Hawaiian tunes, and get in the island vibe. I am usually not a sweet drink person but this cocktail has the perfect amount of sweetness and I think the almond syrup is the secret ingredient. I also never knew you could buy pebbled ice from Sonic and called my local shop and bought it in the drive through for $2 bucks! Feel like the ice really elevates the cocktail and makes me feel like I am having a drink out at my favorite resort.

The post BEST MAI TAI RECIPE + MOCKTAIL appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

Via Wellness http://www.rssmix.com/

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

BEST MAI TAI + MOCKTAIL

Best Mai Tai Recipe
Best Mai Tai Recipe
Best Mai Tai Recipe
Best Mai Tai Recipe
Best Mai Tai Recipe

MAI TAI + MOCKTAIL

serving size for 1 cocktail

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. Pour crushed ice into your cocktail glass.
  2. Combine light rum, orgeat, and orange liqueur in a shaker with ice. Shake well until chilled and pour over ice into your cup.
  3. Add pineapple juice and stir.
  4. Add dark rum on top, add garnish, and add straw. This is important to add the dark rum last to get a little separation. I didn’t for some of these and it makes a big difference in the presentation of your cocktail. Learn from my mistakes 😉

*FOR MOCKTAIL: Replace light rum with orange juice. Replace dark rum with sparkling lemon water. Replace Cointreau with fresh lemon juice. Follow instructions above with the ingredient modifications*

Pour that cocktail, play some Hawaiian tunes, and get in the island vibe. I am usually not a sweet drink person but this cocktail has the perfect amount of sweetness and I think the almond syrup is the secret ingredient. I also never knew you could buy pebbled ice from Sonic and called my local shop and bought it in the drive through for $2 bucks! Feel like the ice really elevates the cocktail and makes me feel like I am having a drink out at my favorite resort.

Other quick and easy recipes:
WATERMELON MARGARITAS + MOCKTAIL
THE CLASSIC MARGARITA
APPLE SPICED OLD FASHIONED COCKTAIL
FROZEN HOT CHOCOLATE

The post BEST MAI TAI + MOCKTAIL appeared first on eat.sleep.wear. - Fashion & Lifestyle Blog by Kimberly Lapides.

Via Wellness http://www.rssmix.com/

Monday, May 25, 2020

How to Support Your Student’s Wellbeing During COVID-19

Approximately 1 in 4 people (in the UK) suffer from a mental health condition. Couple this with recent research suggesting that 300 million people practise yoga worldwide, and it is reasonable to assume that someone in your yoga class has experienced, is experiencing or will experience an episode of poor mental health. Given our current circumstances, this likelihood is significantly higher, as mental health charities have reported an increase in cases of anxiety, OCD and depression due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Yet for all this, yoga teachers are not therapists, nor should they be dealt with the responsibility of counselling their students. Mental health is a delicate matter that requires a unique sensitivity and education, knowledge not obtained in a foundation teacher training.

What yoga teachers can do is take steps to ensure their students feel safe and supported in class. Below are some suggestions on how to do so.

“How are you, really?”

Ask your students how they are. It is a simple question, and yet one that is charged with meaning. These four words create an opportunity for your student to open up, to put into words thoughts or feelings that may have felt incommunicable. Contrary to what you may expect, you do not need to provide life-changing advice, the mere act of taking an interest and listening to your students is enough to show your support.

In a yoga class, we often ask students to check in with themselves or pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. For some, this introspection can stimulate an emotional response. While guiding a class through the physical practice, it is important we are sensitive to the emotional reactions. Checking in with your students at the end of a class allows them the space to verbalize their experience, and in doing so, perhaps identify something that needs exploring/greater attention.

Pay Attention

Unlike the stark cast signalling a broken arm, mental health conditions are not so evidently visible. Because of this, it is all the harder to approach/address. In absence of crutches, a shoulder sling or bandage, it is all the more important to pick up on subtle signs: missing a regular yoga class, entering the class late, seeming distracted or leaving a class immediately.

It is well established that physical activity is good for mental health, as is keeping up a regular routine. Of course, you cannot force your students to attend weekly yoga classes, however beneficial it may be to their wellbeing. However, you can make doing so more accessible. Monthly packages encourage a sense of accountability and commitment to showing up each week, even if that is so not to lose out financially!

Create a Community

In lockdown we have a heightened awareness for the importance of connection, but community and social support has always been crucial/fundamental to our sense of wellbeing. As yoga teachers we have the opportunity to connect like-minded individuals, whether that be through weekly “challenges” to build group spirit/solidarity, or separate means of communication through Facebook or WhatsApp groups. Being part of a group can combat feelings of isolation that so often arise in those struggling with their mental health. While we are not able to physically attend classes, virtual groups serve to foster this element of belonging and community.

Direct Them to Resources

As mentioned above, yoga teachers are not counsellors. It is a distinction that is often blurred by those working in the industry, their career choice motivated by a desire to help others. Yet, while it may be tempting to share personal experiences and guidance, such advice can be misconstrued or even damaging by those in a vulnerable position.

It is, therefore, more prudent and helpful to guide your students toward professional support. Here is a list of several organizations your students can turn to:

SANE: http://www.sane.org.uk
Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk
Samaritans: http://www.samaritans.org
Mental Health Foundation: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk
Childline: http://www.childline.org.uk

Understandably, it is not easy to drop the above into a casual conversation. If possible, it is worth posting these helplines on the studio’s notice board or desk so that anyone interested can access help discreetly. Alternatively, you may want to add these as resources to your website or social media page as a signal of the help available.

————-

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Melissa Albarran from Yoga Alliance Professionals. She is a practicing yogi, dedicated runner, and avid writer.

Via Wellness http://www.rssmix.com/

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Happy Mother’s Day

mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field
mothers day photoshoot kimberly lapides in flower field

Today will always be a very special day. I am writing this post the night before, tired from a full day of happily chasing my toddler. When I put him to bed, we have our special snuggle time and I feel it’s always our little time of gratitude together. We both see each other, and really feel in that moment. His sly little smile from behind the crib bars as he puckers up his tiny little lips to give me a goodnight kiss. I dreamed for so long to see that face in front of me. Becoming a mother is the best thing to ever happen to me and my most cherished responsibility. Being a mother is challenging myself to grow with another human and learn and adapt with him.

The past few months, Otis has become to fascinated and in love with flowers. On our daily walks through the neighborhood, we walk down a few doors to our neighbors and Otis walks their path smelling all the flowers chanting “Flo flow” as he points to the different blooms. He sometimes doesn’t even get close to the flowers but takes in the deepest sniff in the air as he closes his eyes and concentrates. It just blows my mind being able to watch him grow and not only experience things but truly enjoy those experiences. 

We were able to run free in empty field as Otis pointed at the ocean he could see in the distance and running through the wild flowers. Pausing to smell them, pausing to point. Chatting away. He was in such a mood (the kissy face photo with his sour puss face is my FAVORITE) that day but it’s wild that even in those frantic toddler moments there is always beauty in them. 

Motherhood is far from perfect but that doesn’t mean you cant have the most beautiful moments together. Embrace the messiness and take pause to enjoy those small moments together.

Many of you know we were in the process of an embryo transfer that got cancelled due to Covid-19 and while we wish our situation could be different now, I know our time will come soon to start back up. For all my fertility warriors out there feeling helpless especially on a day like today, I see you. My heart is sending your heart a hug because I know that dark struggle. Stay strong and never give up. Otis is my little miracle boy and I know he was worth the fight and his future sibling is worth that fight too. 

Happy Mothers Day friends.

on me // dress: free people / hat: janessa leone / shoes: golden goose
on otis // shirt: monica & andy / jeans: h&m kids / shoes: vans

photos by Lua

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